sxjeel

So, I was watching this random video by Arpit Bala which got me thinking; I often find myself and people around me, using AI a lot. Literally a lot, but here is a thought; Whats happening? More and more people have started to outsource so much stuff to AI. for eg. emotions (sharing emotions and seeking validation), personality (e.g, asking AI how to respond to texts), introspections (lacking original thoughts and ideas, and asking AI instead all the time) social life (instead of meaningful real-life interactions), personal life (journal/overshare personal life), friendships (making AI their friend), etc. Wont it lead to a personality deficiency crisis in the near future? 💀  for example, Personally, I can already observe my own grammar skills getting deteriorated because i use AI so damn much all the time for making notes, improving/checking grammar etc. what makes us human ?  things which make us human: the personality, and the emotions. If we outsource it, what's left? All...

So i was very stressed out just a while ago, cus my targets are piling up and mom asked me to get something from the market, i didnt say anything to her but i lost my mind out of stress. but then it got me thinking and introspecting, WHY am i losing my mind? what is it on the break days, that keeps me sane? Turns out, the thing which is making me lose my mind is me, myself. I try to over control things, my time, my schedule. I need to understand one thing: I need not be perfect, I just need to be good enough, consistent, and kind. I need to start being more patient. I need to ingrain in my mind that consistency overpowers intensity every single time. I need to let go more often. I understood the key: No desperation about anything. No trying to over-control anything Value system to determine priority  It's so ironical, the more I try to control things, control my schedule, forgetting my value system, forgetting my purpose, forgetting kindness, being overly desperate about my daily t...

So this time i took a nice 2 day break and binge watched COMPLETE Attack on titan Anime. and its definitely one of its kind, absolute masterpiece. Although i have my doubts about ending since its kinda vague, but i definitely would like to believe the Eremika Fandom theory that Eren and Mikasa finally got united forever in hereafter.   UPDATE: this is the Ending i (want to) believe in Now.  (reddit post) and the next thing ill be watching is AOT Jr. high  some reflections? well it taught me how to find happiness in small things , and  how privileged i am to have access to being living a normal life, having a family, being born in stability.  Unlike those innocent people of Palestine, Ukraine and other war torn countries who a...

So I took a well deserved break today (I am not 100% sure if it was deserved or not, but well, I called it a break day) and all I did today in terms of studying was 30 mins of Anki. Originally, I was supposed to read some 10 pages of Laxmikant, then some 1.5k Anki cards, then forum pts1, but well, tomorrow ig. Now, why this break? I became a mama for the second time, alhamdulillah so there's been some excitement and a festive environment. The naming and akiqah is to be done tomorrow I guess tomorrow will also be a half day. what did I do today? 1. Dropped my Jiju at the station (I love driving, and it was a fairly long 60 min ride to and fro) 2. Got myself a haircut (after 3 long months). 3. Went to the gym for 2 whole hours (been skipping the gym for the past few weeks sadly) 4. Helped Mom with some household chores (usually I always make excuses that I have to study) ( but am I really that busy every day? I wonder now... ). 5. Made myself a protein-rich dinner with carrot juic...

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So, I got addicted (over-invested/curious about?) to another show Yeah, it's the show all the emo people watch (sadly, I feel like I am one of them now), but the show is AMAZING Not as good as TheOffice tho (politically controversial opinion ofc) Coming back to the point, WHY am i writing this blog? Well... I don't want to escape reality by getting immersed in the show. I am not just an average consumer; I am the main character, and I need to start living like it I have made my decision. I will stop watching the show. So far i have watched till S2E17 : the one where eddie moves in.. But I really do want to watch and complete the show; it's fun haha. I'll put it on my bucket list, and since I don't have any “formal” bucket list , this blog will serve as a reminder for my future self to come back and finish the show once I'm successful in Real Life . Oh, by the way, I need to try Joey's haircut

In the middle of my graduation exams, here I am, watching The Office . The episode? S7 Ep22: Goodbye Michael. Michael tells Kevin, "You should never settle for who you are," (because he's fat) but to Andy, he says, "I have faith in you." And just like that, he says goodbye to everyone and leaves. Emotional AF. Anyway, back to real life. Why am I writing this? Honestly, I don’t know. Actually, I do. I’m writing this as a promise to my future self that this low point I’ve hit, I will fix it. What’s wrong with me? Physical Health Overeating fruits post iftaar (which is backfiring, obviously). Haven’t hit the gym in a month. I am 74-75 Kgs rn. Goal is 62-63! Not taking marathon prep seriously. Sleep schedule? Completely wrecked. Mental Health Can’t focus, not even in Tarawih prayers. Feeling puzzled and confused all the time. Stress is piling up. In General Addicted to perfectionism. Addicted to The Office . Doing everything except studying. Not taking graduati...