sxjeel

So i was very stressed out just a while ago, cus my targets are piling up and mom asked me to get something from the market, i didnt say anything to her but i lost my mind out of stress. but then it got me thinking and introspecting, WHY am i losing my mind? what is it on the break days, that keeps me sane? Turns out, the thing which is making me lose my mind is me, myself. I try to over control things, my time, my schedule. I need to understand one thing: I need not be perfect, I just need to be good enough, consistent, and kind. I need to start being more patient. I need to ingrain in my mind that consistency overpowers intensity every single time. I need to let go more often. I understood the key: No desperation about anything. No trying to over-control anything Value system to determine priority  It's so ironical, the more I try to control things, control my schedule, forgetting my value system, forgetting my purpose, forgetting kindness, being overly desperate about my daily t...

So this time i took a nice 2 day break and binge watched COMPLETE Attack on titan Anime. and its definitely one of its kind, absolute masterpiece. Although i have my doubts about ending since its kinda vague, but i definitely would like to believe the Eremika Fandom theory that Eren and Mikasa finally got united forever in hereafter.   UPDATE: this is the Ending i (want to) believe in Now.  (reddit post) and the next thing ill be watching is AOT Jr. high  some reflections? well it taught me how to find happiness in small things , and  how privileged i am to have access to being living a normal life, having a family, being born in stability.  Unlike those innocent people of Palestine, Ukraine and other war torn countries who a...

So I took a well deserved break today (I am not 100% sure if it was deserved or not, but well, I called it a break day) and all I did today in terms of studying was 30 mins of Anki. Originally, I was supposed to read some 10 pages of Laxmikant, then some 1.5k Anki cards, then forum pts1, but well, tomorrow ig. Now, why this break? I became a mama for the second time, alhamdulillah so there's been some excitement and a festive environment. The naming and akiqah is to be done tomorrow I guess tomorrow will also be a half day. what did I do today? 1. Dropped my Jiju at the station (I love driving, and it was a fairly long 60 min ride to and fro) 2. Got myself a haircut (after 3 long months). 3. Went to the gym for 2 whole hours (been skipping the gym for the past few weeks sadly) 4. Helped Mom with some household chores (usually I always make excuses that I have to study) ( but am I really that busy every day? I wonder now... ). 5. Made myself a protein-rich dinner with carrot juic...

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